Is Donald Trump a Christian?

There has been a lot of speculation as to the contents of Donald J. Trump’s heart.  As the saying goes: “Heaven only knows!”

Unfortunately, us mortals are left with mere facts and thus must limit our assessment on their basis.

Consider the following Trumpine characteristics:

  1. Donald awakens at 5 AM in a gilded penthouse in New York with a simple mission: crush the Twitter haters and be super petty.
  2. He is a purveyor of the best Eastern-European trophy-wives
  3. He is inclined to move on women “like a bitch!”
  4. He runs Miss Teen USA

It hast to be said plainly that a man with such naked adoration of the pleasures of the flesh and who boasts endlessly about living the “good life” is the epitome of what one might call a hedonist.  The conclusion seems obvious: Donald Trump does not care about religion—but that won’t stop him from taking a sledge-hammer to Jefferson’s Wall of Separation [between Church and State]!

Strap in folks, we’re in for a hell of a ride.

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